How interested are you in learning how to take control of your life and be happy?
It’s a pretty deep question to start a post out I know. But given everything that is happening in the world these days I think it’s a topic worth digging in to a bit.
Most people go through life not knowing that they can have control over their lives. For evidence of this just turn on the news. It’s filled with people playing the victim card every chance they get.
Why are they doing it?
It’s because they don’t know what else to do to get out of their current predicaments.
Helplessness breeds depression, anxiety, and even anger. Want to learn how to take control of your life and be happy? Quit feeling helpless about whatever situation you find yourself in.
So here are the “Rules” I follow to get my head back on straight and in control of the direction my life is going.
I’m betting they’ll help you become more productive in your life too if you follow them.
Rule #1 – On How to Take Control of Your Life and Be Happy: Quit Whining
Name one person who has ever gotten ahead or accomplished anything worthwhile by complaining and whining.
No fair naming politicians. They don’t count.
What I find interesting is how many people in the world view themselves as a victim of some sort or another.
A lot of people start whining the second they hit any type of setback in their business or elsewhere in their life for that matter.
The same goes for business owners too unfortunately.
Have you ever caught yourself whining after hitting a setback in your business or on your job?
No need to raise your hand. We all do it from time to time.
There was a time when I bought $10,000 worth of radio ads in our local market.
I thought for sure the ads were going to generate a lot of leads for us.
Everything looked great, we put the ads in and we got zip for the $10,000.
Talk about a real punch in the gut.
Did I whine about it?
I’m guessing yeah.
Did I blame someone else for the failure?
I knew that the responsibility of the campaign rested on my shoulders and no one else. Which I think is a big part of learning how to take control of your life and be happy.
Before you can build anything significant like that you need to keep your whining to a minimal if not cut it out entirely.
Not too many people like interacting with whiners. Who wants to follow and network with a sad sack?
Rule #2 – On How to Take Control of Your Life and Be Happy: Quit Playing The Victim.
Victim’s never come out ahead in society.
The problem with playing the victim card is simple. When someone plays it it actually strips them of the power to rectify their problems.
Many of us think we live in a society that’s safe but we live in a dog eat dog world.
You don’t think so?
Go down to South America to the Amazon Jungle and spend the night there armed with nothing more than a banana.
You’ll find out what a victim is. Something being eaten.
My mother-in-law, God rest her soul. She passed away several years ago from Huntington’s disease. It’s hereditary and something my family is fighting off tooth and nail.
Before the disease finally took her she insisted on going for walks. She just wanted to walk and feel free from the disease.
The weaker she got though the weaker her gait became.
Her walks ended the day a dog knocked her to the ground and chewed her up badly. She just didn’t have the strength to defend herself and had to get rabies shots after a bystander ran the dog off.
I shared her story to make the point that you can’t walk around as a victim if you can help it. If you do the world will recognize you for what you are. Prey.
Because victims have no power, they must rely on somebody else to save them from the situation.
My mother-in-law couldn’t help it. She was a victim because of her diminished motor skills the disease saddled her with.
Learned helplessness happens “when people or animals become conditioned to believe that a situation is unchangeable or inescapable.”
They act like someone who is drowning in a shallow pond and now are no longer able to save themselves regardless of how shallow it is.
They have to fill out the role of the victim. That means they have to stay there until somebody rescues them.
Playing the victim card freezes them in a place they don’t want to be.
How tragic is that?
Let me tell you this and I hope you get it into your head if it’s something you suffer from yourself. Life is too short to be sitting in a pond that isn’t even over your head. Instead stand up and walk out of that pond and be free.
Yeah, there are heroes in the world and they will try to help you along the way.
But help from a hero is meant as a temporary hand up to get you to the next level so you then are in a position to help someone else do the same.
Then there’s the chronic feel sorry for myself folks, they’re always playing the victim role too.
If it sounds like I don’t have any sympathy for them, it’s because I don’t.
I know that sounds hardhearted too.
There are victims in the world and they do deserve our help. That’s not the type of victims I’m talking about here though.
I’m talking about grown men and women who have the charge of supporting their families and who don’t. Not because they are unable to but because they would rather sit comfortably in the victim role.
They sit in that role so long that they start believing it. Once they start believing it it isn’t long before their children start believing it too.
Kids pick up on just about everything. When they see their parents acting helpless in situations it effects them in a big way.
No matter what happens, you have an obligation to protect the next generation. You’re plowing ground for them.
So if your parents couldn’t give you enough love growing up, you give double the love to your own children.
No matter how hard it is.
Every day you waste is one day of your potential you waste. Every day you waste potential, you’re hurting the next generation. Your babies.
That’s a pretty important rule to controlling your own destiny. Quit whining. Quit playing the victim. Quit hurting the next generation.
It’s that easy.
Rule #3 – On How to Take Control of Your Life and Be Happy: Establish Some Drive In Your Life.
Once you take away that mantle of being the victim, you have to replace it with something. That something is drive.
When my children were younger, I used to take a handful of change and toss it all on the floor in front of my kids when they were younger. About $15 worth.
Some of my children would look up at me questioningly to make sure I wasn’t pulling their legs and to see if it was really OK for them to grab the money in front of them. I remained silent, watching them.
Meanwhile my youngest at the time would dive to the floor and scoop up the lion share of the money.
At this point the other kids would jump in and get what was left over. They’d get 50 cents, some a dollar. While my six year old would have $10 in change from her efforts.
My children learned early on in life from this exercise that when they hesitate, they lose money.
You can’t hesitate when presented with opportunities.
Consider your life like it’s fourth down and goal at the one inch line in the Superbowl. You have a team of angry players who are going to do their best to keep you from scoring a touchdown.
You can look at the determination of your competitors to judge your chances of scoring. Most people in business do that in regards to the obstacles between them and their goals.
By the way, victims feel miserable. People with drive feel empowered.
It might be a big paradigm shift for you to go from being the victim to someone with drive. But you can do it. You have to do it, so you may as well do it now.
Turn off that distress signal that says you’re a victim and smash it under your boot. Pick it up and throw it away and never look at it again.
Watch how fast you learn how to take control of your life and be happy!
If you think what I just shared is valuable, give me some comments.
There’s too many voyeurs on the web. Voyeurs are usually people that are trying to decide whether a watering hole is safe to drink at.
Come on out. You’re safe. 🙂